


Benched

by frummpy



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Adulthood, Angst, College, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-02
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-05-17 05:24:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14826137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frummpy/pseuds/frummpy
Summary: Suga and Daichi prepare for college life together.Bokuto is graduating, and Akashi is anxious over the change.Asahi is graduating, and Noya prepares for the worst.





	1. the end

Noya hated school ceremonies. Sitting and listening drove him mad; the stagnant atmosphere of the auditorium put him on edge. The echoes of a single voice and the background noise of people shuffling around left his ears and mind with nothing constructive to do. He always tapped his feet and drummed his fingers, hoping the incessant motion would drown out the boredom. Time seemed to slow down as his desire to leave grew faster. Whenever he attended them, a feeling of unease swelled within him until all he wanted to do was move, to run and leave.

This is how he convinced himself to ditch the third years graduation. He was aware of how little this made him; he knew what he was doing was cowardly. But he could not face that stage. He could not face Asahi. 

Sitting criss-cross on the sidewalk outside of the school, he counted down the minutes on his watch until the ceremony was over. Trying to think about what to say, he kept running his fingers through his hair, and ended up walking to the front doors five minutes before everyone was let out. Finding his way to a bench, he resigned himself to honesty. There would be no excuses; no ‘whoops sorry I was late!’s or ‘wait I thought it was just starting!’-s. Asahi would figure it out anyways. Two years into each other’s lives, and Noya knew his boyfriend understood him better than anyone else on the planet. Boyfriend. He was going to miss that word. 

Cheers could be heard from inside the school building and Noya wanted to tear his ears off. He needed more time. He couldn’t do this. If this happened right here, right now, he was going to cry in front of everyones little siblings and grandma’s. Part of him knew that Asahi wouldn’t do it so publicly, but a larger part of him needed to run away again. He hoped that would be considered an honest option, shitty as it was.  
He unlocked his phone and checked the group chat, where days earlier Suga had announced a graduation party in the gym. 7 o’clock, about an hour from now. Attending that would be enough. Resolving himself again to an honest cowardice, he bolted to the club room.

 

Of course, the club room was unlocked. It almost always was, in the evenings. the smell of volleyballs and old laundry filled his nose, and while it wasn’t pleasant to all the senses, it was still comfortable. Noya opened the window and laid down on the bench, a stray folded towel used as a pillow. He closed his eyes and waited.

Intuition had always been a strength of his. Nishinoya was a person of instinct and feeling. This was a huge factor in why Asahi and his relationship worked so well. Asahi was quiet and hated being a burden on people; he was kind and genuine but full of self doubt. So, he didn’t always have to vocalize everything for Noya to catch on and understand. Over the years, they had developed a self-sustaining system for maintaining their relationship. Asahi would have wondering eyes and restless fingers and Noya would kiss him. Asahi would have ragged breathing and hesitation in his limbs and Noya would tell him it was okay to stop. For the past few weeks, Asahi’s eyes had been shifty and his lungs full of sighs. He was distant and floating away from Noya as his graduation date approached. Whenever Noya tried to seriously talk to him about it, Asahi would bite his lip and shake him off. As secretive as he tried to be about it, Noya could tell. Asahi was going to break up with him. 

Just the thought of it made Nishinoya want to cry. When he was close to tears, he got mad at himself; he figured he could put the effort it took to cry into trying to make their relationship work. But if Asahi didn’t want to be with Noya anymore, should Noya stop him? It was a frustrating cycle of thoughts that had relentlessly plagued Noya’s mind for weeks. 

By the time he had relaxed and collected himself, he could hear footsteps approaching the clubroom. It was almost time. Voices travelled through the open window. 

“So after this, you wanna come over? Mom said the house was up for takes as long as the team was on their best behavior.” Noya could hear Suga ask as he approached the room. 

“Yeah, sure! As long as I can stay afterwards…” Daichi’s embarrassingly teasing voice almost made Noya want to smile. 

“Shut up.” Suga replied giggling as Daichi opened the door.

“Oh, Noya! You’re already here!” Usually, Daichi would be angry that someone was bumming in the club room, but apparently graduation day was the exception. 

“Noya! We’re free!” Suga sat next to him on the bench, “How are you doing?” there was something knowing in his expression. 

Noya appreciated the concern, but wasn’t in the mood for Suga’s mommy act. “As good as I can be, considering.” He smiled and decided that for the next few hours, he would busy himself with sending his beloved friends to into the real world. “But let’s not worry about that right now! We have a party to throw!”

Daichi joined the others on the bench, “Noya, why weren’t you at the ceremony?” Noya winced.

“Daichi!” Suga warned.

“No, Suga. This is important.” Noya knew this would be coming. Daichi was Mr. Responsible Boyfriend of the year, after all. “Asahi won’t say anything, but I will. That wasn’t cool, Noya. You needed to be there.” Two years knowing the guy, and his powerful voice still shook Noya to his core. He looked at the ground in shame as Daichi continued, softer, “You need to tell us why, Noya.”

“God, I’m gonna miss you guys.” who else was Noya going to spill all of his boyfriend troubles to? “I just needed time to prepare myself.” he hoped they would understand. 

“For what?” Suga sounded confused, and Noya really thought he would cry if he said it out loud.

“I think you guys already know. I mean, it’s not like Asahi is really difficult to read.” Noya took a deep breath and looked at his two senpai on either side of him. “I think I’m gonna go to the gym, I’m pretty sure I can hear Hinata crying from here.” Noya smiled and bounded away before they could continue their questioning. 

Once in the gym, Noya actually found Hinata crying. It looked like Kageyama was begrudgingly comforting Hinata, one hand awkwardly on his back, in a grumbly voice saying, “It’s not like they’re dead, idiot,” as he himself wiped a few stray tears away from his cheeks. It was kind of adorable, and it made Noya envious and sad, even though they weren’t a couple.

“Noya-senpai!!” Hinata wailed when he noticed the other. 

“Noya!” Tanaka entered, barreling towards his friend. “Where were you? You missed the vice-principles new wig!!! It was hilarious-” he put a hand on Noya’s shoulder, concerned at Noya’s lack of energy, “You okay? You look a little off…” 

Noya shook him off, “Yeah, yeah, tell me about the wig!” he finished as Hinata practically tackled him. 

“Senpai!” 

“Jeez, It’s not like I’m the one graduating, Hinata.” the kid actually looked down, so Noya returned the hug. He needed one, anyways.

“Yuu?” Noya tensed and dug his fingernails into Hinata’s shoulders. He would recognize that voice anywhere. It was time. 

“Senpai?” the tears were gone and Hinata looked at Noya with concern, letting him go. Noya was frozen. He looked to Tanaka. Tanaka looked back.

“Yuu?” Asahi was walking over. 

“Hinata, lets give them some space.” Tanaka whispered and hauled Hinata back over to Kageyama.  
Noya twirled around to face Asahi and yelled “Stop! Right there!” Of course, Asahi obeyed. He didn’t say anything, just looked at Noya, eyebrows knit and a frown tugging at his lips. 

“Now. I know you have something to talk to me about, right?” Noya asked, all business.

“Um, Yeah. Noya, I-”

“Stop!” Noya raised his hand, “Because I need you to listen to me, first.” he dropped his gaze to the ground, “Just wait until the party is over, okay?” Let me pretend for a few more hours. 

Asahi, hesitant, walked forward and took Noya’s hand. “Of course.” 

Before Asahi could reject, Noya pulled him in for a hug. He wrapped his arms around Asahi’s back and buried his face in his neck. “Congratulations.”

Asahi rubbed circles on Noya’s lower back and closed all of the space in-between them. “Thank you, Yuu.”

For a moment, Noya felt all of his paranoia slip away; he wished that he had made everything up and he and Asahi were going to stay together forever. After giving Asahi a brief kiss, they separated and Noya came back down to reality. At least he was able to hold back his tears. 

“Alright! Let’s start!” he shouted enthusiastically, looking at Hinata, Kageyama, and Tanaka, who had been hovering near the open entrance to the gym. 

Tanaka still looked mildly worried, but eagerly shouted back “Yeah! Woo hoo!!! Noya and I are the ones in charge now!”

“Oh my god, we are!” Noya bounded over to his friend. “We can finally go on that one-month meditative training camp in the woods we always talked about! No food, no clothes, just manliness and nature!! ”

“We can start an official volleyball cult and haze incoming freshman!” Tanaka joined in.

“We can make trick-or-treating a mandatory club activity and take all their candy!”

“We can eat cake for dinner every night!”

“NO MORE BEDTIME!!”

“NO MORE BEDTIME!!”

“…Hmmmm??” the atmosphere tensed and a chill ran up Noya’s spine. They had been caught be Daichi. “Who’s not getting a proper night’s sleep?” behind him, Suga giggled.

And so, the party began. Tsukishima and Yamaguchi showed up a few minutes later, and Ennoshita and the rest of the second years weren’t too far behind. The Kurasuno team sat on the floor, listened to music (ft. D.J. Tsuki) and ate food. Almost everybody cried when Daichi appointed Ennoshita as captain for next year. For hours they talked and played games, reveling in one another’s presence one last time before three of them left for good. It seemed too good to be true, but Asahi stuck close to Noya all night. Asahi, who almost never liked PDA, held onto Noya and would occasionally give him a peck on the cheek or hand. Every time, Noya would inflate with joy, then come back down to earth. He could feel their teammates watching them with a quiet concern. But he didn’t want to stop. Noya wished this party and Asahi’s affections would last for an eternity, lie or not.

When it didn’t, Noya reminded himself that he had to stay honest for both he and Asahi’s sake. Time for playing make-believe was over. Most of the team headed towards Suga’s house to resume the party there, but he and Asahi wished everybody farewell and set out on a walk of their own. 

“It’s nice out tonight,” Asahi commented, guiding Noya hand-in-hand to the park.

“This is gonna suck.” he replied, making sure to put no harm behind his words. Asahi didn’t look at him; they walked in silence until they reached their spot, a bench in a secluded section of the park. 

It was one of those cheesy couple things that Noya would never admit out loud that he liked a lot. The bench was hidden from the many walking paths that twisted through the park; it was surrounded by trees, but you could look up and still see the sky. This was the place where Asahi and he had had their first kiss, it was the place where they hung out when they wanted to be alone together. Now, Noya sat down there and waited for Asahi to break up with him. 

Asahi joined him on the bench. “Yuu, I need you to look at me.”

Lungs tight, Noya complied and made sturdy eye contact with Asahi. Noya took the time to really notice every feature on Asahi’s face. He looked exhausted. His strong jaw line was tense and his eyebrows furrowed. Noya could count on one hand the amount of times Asahi had looked so intense. This time bested them all. The strangeness of his expression just further alienated Noya from Asahi. It was time. 

“I love you, Yuu. From the bottom of my heart, I do.” Asahi didn’t bite his lip or fix his hair. There was no hesitation in his words and he did not stutter. “We can’t be together anymore.”

Noya shut his eyes tight and took a long breath. “Can you tell me why, Asahi?” if Asahi could do it this calmly, then so could he. Noya spoke softly and kept eye contact, “After all this time, you tell me now? I kept asking you if anything was wrong, and I can always tell if there is. But you never told me. You never gave me a chance to fix things.”

“There was nothing for you to fix.” Noya could feel a pressure building in his chest. 

“I could have done something to stop this. Please give me a reason” Already, his control was slipping. 

“Next week, I’m going to Tokyo to work as an apprentice at my uncle’s woodshop-”

“That’s fine! Tokyo’s not that far away, we can still-”

“Yuu!” Asahi raised his voice at Noya’s outburst. Desperation and helplessness creeped into his voice, “Please, let me finish. You know this is difficult for me.” 

Noya was feeling frustrated at this point, but continued to listen, “Tokyo isn’t the only reason.” Emotion was starting to seep through Asahi’s voice, “You don’t- you don’t have to be tied down to me, Yuu. Look, I know you love me. But we’ve lived inside this nice, fantasy-like world for a while now. A world revolving around each other and the team.”

Noya couldn’t process what he was hearing, and Asahi started to speed up, “Look at me, Yuu. I didn’t even try to apply to university. I didn’t even consider any of the sports offers I got. Yuu, I don’t know what I want to do with my life.”

“What does that have to do with this, with us?!” Noya placed his hand on his chest, trying to somehow steady his raised voice. “That’s what I’m here for, Asahi! I’m your boyfriend! I want to support you!” He couldn’t sit down anymore. 

Asahi also got up, “I know! That’s what you’ve been doing, Yuu, and I love you for it.” he reached out and gently grabbed Noya’s shoulders, trying to calm him, “But I can’t- I can’t have that any more.” his eyes glistened with tears. 

“Don’t you get it? I’ve become almost completely reliant on you. If I continue like this,” Asahi’s voice didn’t waver, despite his tears, “How can I be an individual? How can I support myself? Look, I still love you. I just, don’t think the way we are now is what I need.”

Noya pushed Asahi’s hands down, “What do you need, Asahi?” his voice was bitter and he looked Asahi right in the eyes, “And what exactly did you think I was, this entire time? Training wheels?!” He didn’t know how to stop yelling and he didn’t want to.

“It’s like last year all over again! I thought you were past this.” Noya had his hands on his head as he tried to grasp what exactly was going on. “You’re ruining our relationship of nearly two years because you think I’m holding you back.”

“‘Past this’? You mean I was supposed to be magically fixed because I rejoined the team?! Were all of my problems and supposed to vanish because you wanted them to? Was having you supposed to make my anxiety go away?” Asahi was yelling and Noya had never heard such an unreserved voice from Asahi, “What do you want me to do, Yuu? Come back to Kurasuno once a week to play a scrimmage with you guys? Go to nationals? Sneak out during training camp to make out? It won’t work, it just won’t. You know what would happen, if we stayed together?” 

Noya was angry and crying and could not believe this was happening, “We would stay in contact really well, in the beginning. Then we would get busy. We would never see each other and then we would gradually forget. We’d forget birthdays and holidays and eventually forget why we even liked each other to begin with. It would be a burden for both of us, Yuu! That’s why I’m trying to spare you the trouble of breaking up with me later!”

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Noya was sobbing at this point. “Do you really think that? That you were a burden? That being together would be a burden” his voice raised, “That’s pathetic! We could have at least tried, you asshole.”

Then he bolted. It was cowardly and he knew it, but he didn’t know what else to do. He didn’t want to listen to anything else Asahi had to say. When he reached his street, he ducked into an alley and tried to catch his breath. His vision was blurry and he couldn’t breath between the sobs. The fact he was throwing a tantrum like this doubled his frustration, making him heave harder. There were too many thoughts in his mind; he was angry beyond all recognition that Asahi would end them like that, but he also just lost what he thought to be the closest and most beloved person to him in this entire world.

At this point he really couldn’t breath. He felt like he was dreaming, like he was there, but not really. Asahi had been his entire world for two years, and now he was gone. Panic took over and he found himself kneeling down on the cold pavement clutching his head, trying to get the oxygen flowing again. He still couldn’t see clearly. Where was he, again? Where was his house? What would he tell his mom when he came home like this? Every emotion amplified and he didn’t even know what he wanted to do anymore-

“Noya!” it was Tanaka. “What the hell happened?”

Noya tried to answer but could only say, “Asahi, Asahi’s gone” in-between sobs. Tanaka had Noya sit properly on the sidewalk, soothing him until he stopped crying. 

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

“No.”

“Then let’s take you home.”

“Okay.”

Tanaka dragged Noya to his doorstep, and Noya was grateful for the fact that his parents would be asleep be now. “Thanks, Ryu. I just-” he almost started crying again. 

“Shhh, it’s no problem, man. We’ll talk later.” With that, Tanaka left and Noya went inside and crawled into bed, settling into an uneasy sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! So this fic will cover a few different pairings, with each plot hopefully getting equal amounts of chapters. The first few chapters are already written (as in, I wrote them a few years ago), so I don't really remember what my Grand Plan or whatever was!! I hope you'll stick with me as I wing my way right the fuck through this disaster! Thank you for reading :)


	2. worry

“I just didn’t think it would go that badly,” Asahi groaned, covering his face and leaning back on the couch. 

Suga sighed and pat Asahi’s leg, “I know,” he pretended to understand. Really, he hadn’t expected any of this. An hour ago, Asahi had showed up on Suga’s doorstep, restless with puffy eyes. The party had been over for a while, the only one left being Daichi. The two had comforted their friend when he explained to them what he had done. After years of knowing him, Suga and Daichi would be lying if they said they hadn’t seen this coming, but the thought that he had actually gone through with it shocked Suga. At most, he thought Asahi would want to go on a break of some sort while he got settled in Tokyo. Asahi told them what had happened, and that Noya had ran off after. Suga texted Tanaka to check up on Noya while they took care of Asahi. But it was still shocking that he had actually done it; they knew he loved Noya with all of his heart. And Asahi had a big heart. However, he was also criminally fatalistic. Suga knew that Daichi would be upset with Asahi’s course of action. He looked over at his boyfriend now, who was biting his lip, trying to think of something to say. They exchanged silent glances.

“You know, Asahi, I still don’t really get it.” Daichi said softly, trying not to upset his friend, “I don’t understand why you weren’t willing to give long distance a try. It could have been good for you two.” 

Suga anxiously looked at Daichi and Asahi. “I told you, already. I need to try to be alone, for a while.” his tone was tense. 

“Well, I think you should probably rest, now. We can decide what to do tomorrow.” Suga mediated, because he could see this conversation turning sour fast. 

“What do you mean, decide what to do next?” Asahi asked, confusion in his voice. 

“I mean, what the next course of action is with Noya! How you’re both going to apologize, and at least try to remain friends!” Suga was trying to remain optimistic about this situation, but the exhausted look in Asahi’s eyes told him otherwise.

Again, Asahi sighed. “Well, I’ll think about it. Thanks for hearing me out, guys.” He got off the couch and headed toward the door. 

“You don't have to worry too much, these things happen. I’m sure you’ll feel better in the morning,” Daichi said as Asahi put on his shoes. 

“It’s not me I’m worried about.” Asahi said, hand on the door nob. They said their goodbyes and Suga and Daichi were alone. Suga locked the door and walked over to Daichi.

“Oh, boy.” He put his head on Daichi’s shoulder and took in his warmth. “I think I’m ready to go to bed.”

“Me too.” Daichi pulled away and they trudged up to the bedroom. Suga’s parents had stopped trying to regulate their sleepovers a long time ago. By the time they realized their son was dating Daichi, they had already spent many nights together under the guise of study sessions. It wasn’t like they were going to do anything when his parent’s were home, so it was all innocent enough. 

Once they got ready for bed, a ritual akin to a couple who had lived together for years, Suga climbed under the covers and kissed Daichi.

“What the hell are we going to do, Suga?” he asked as he ran his fingers through the other’s hair. 

“We need to talk to Noya. He’s the one who’s hurting the most right now.”

“You really think so?” 

Suga was surprised, “Of course! Asahi had time to prepare. This is coming out of the blue for Noya, right?”

“But remember what he said in the club room today? He had a feeling.”

“Hmmm, but doesn’t that make it worse? Having to wait, sitting on your suspicions, not being able to do anything.” Suga poked Daichi on the nose, “Why are you defending Asahi? I know you’re not happy with how he handled it, but still.”

Daichi took Suga’s hand away, “It’s not like I’m defending him… It’s more like, I’m trying to understand. I feel like this was harder for him to do than he’s letting on.” 

Suga tried to imagine it. He pictured a world where Daichi and him weren’t going to the same university, a world where he knew their relationship wouldn’t work out and breaking it off prematurely was the only way for it to end. “It’s horrible.”

“I know,” Daichi wrapped his arm around Suga, “but I don’t think we should get them back together.”

“I know.”

“Do you, now?” Daichi teased. It wasn’t a secret that Suga liked playing mediator and matchmaker. 

“Pshh, stop it.” He cuddled closer to Daichi, “Even I know where to draw the line. This is what Asahi wanted, and it’s what he got. Imagining a peaceful break was probably just wishful thinking on his part.”

“Yeah, there was no way Noya was going to take his explanation without a fight.”

“Poor Noya.”

“We’ll check on him tomorrow.”

“Asahi said he ran off, we should check up on him,”

“We texted Tanaka, everything is fine now.”

“But Daichi, they were so good for each other.”

“If Asahi says he need more autonomy, we are in no place to take that away from him,”  
“But we disagree.”

“For now, yes.”

“Good.”

“Good.”

“Daichi, we graduated.”

“We did, Suga.” 

“We’re going to college soon.”

“Yes, we are.”

“Do you wanna register for classes together?”

“Suga, you’re half asleep right now.”  
“No I’m not. Prove it.”

“You always talk like this when you’re sleepy.”

“Hmmmm”

“Go to sleep.”

“Good night, Daichi.”

“Good night, Suga.”


	3. haircuts

The thing Akaashi would miss most was fixing Bokuto’s hair. He took a bizarre pleasure in knowing what the grey and black locks looked liked un-gelled, laying flat against his head. Akaashi would run his fingers through it and kiss him, straddling Bokuto as they sat on the bathroom floor. 

“How much do you want me to cut off?” He would whisper as he reached down to take off Bokuto’s shirt.

“Hmmm” would be the reply he got, accompanied with closed eyes and wandering fingertips up his legs. 

Akaashi would lean in closer and repeat himself, softer, “How much do you want?” while the scissors lay forgotten on the counter. 

“Fuck,” Bokuto would say as Akaashi gently tugged at his hair, tilting his head back to that they were looking at each other dead in the eye, “Keiji.”

The way he said it always sent shivers down Akaashi’s spine. He said it now, in an abandoned hallway outside of his classroom, clutching his diploma in one hand. Bokuto did this thing where he only called Akaashi by his first name when they were alone and intimate. When Akaashi asked why, he said that precious words should be savored. Akaashi thought the excuse was endearing although misplaced; they were both aware that the knowledge of their relationship was on a need-to-know basis, as Bokuto didn’t want to be outed and Akaashi didn’t like attention. It might have been a bit crude but it was the only way they worked. “Keiji, It’s not like things are going to change for the worse.” The serious look in his eyes and the way he seemed to be looming over Akaashi said otherwise. They were words of foreboding. 

“Yeah.” he kept his tone neutral. Voicing his fears would breathe life into them. It was best if Bokuto remained confident in their relationship; Akaashi could only deal with so many mood swings. It was ironic, that in such a frantic time, Bokuto was the one with the clear head, keeping Akaashi grounded. But he was curious, why wasn’t he having one now? Was he really not worried? Akaashi studied Bokuto’s eyes and his jaw line; he had a determined expression that came with ease. Akaashi had seen it many times before, a glowing confidence on his face before all of the volleyball games Fukurodani had played. Hopefully, Bokuto couldn’t sense he was internally freaking out. He looked at the ground. 

“I’m still in Tokyo. The university isn’t far.” He set down the diploma and gently grabbed Akaashi’s arms, trying to soothe him. He was too good at reading his boyfriend. 

“Yeah,” he closed his eyes, because if he looked at Bokuto right now, it would be real.

“We’ll see each other often. I’ll text you. Things will change, but we’ll stay the same.” 

“Yeah,” his voice shook and he knew that continuing like this wouldn’t work. He looked at Bokuto, “I love you.” tears fell. He wasn’t used to being this emotional, and it irked him to no end that Bokuto was always the catalyst of his emotions. 

“Keiji,” Bokuto pulled him into a hug and Akaashi cried into his shoulder. “I love you too.” 

Akaashi feared for the worse. He wrapped his arms around Bokuto’s neck and breathed him in, wishing the contact would never break. He hated wishful thinking. 

“Don’t cry, don’t cry,” Bokuto cheerily chanted, actually lifting Akaashi a few inches off the ground and swinging him side to side, “If you cry, I’ll cry, and no one wants to see that.”

Akaashi giggled, leaning back to look at Bokuto. “What’s with this? I feel all emotionally temperamental, and you seem calm.”

“I guess it’s opposite day.”

“Are you in grade school?”

“No, I’m a college student, now. Pretty sexy, right? You’re dating an older, more mature man.” Bokuto pressed Akaashi into the wall

Akaashi rolled his eyes, “Well, you are older…” Bokuto leaned down to kiss him, gently. “I’m sorry I’m being so temperamental today.” he said when they were done, “Congratulations on graduating.” They kissed again. 

“You don’t have to be sorry for showing emotion, Akaashi.” Bokuto whispered, nestled into his neck, leaving kisses there. 

“I know,” Akaashi breathed, shuddering when Bokuto put a hand underneath his shirt. “Woah, slow down. We’re in the hallway,” Bokuto grunted disapprovingly, but backed away anyways, after one last kiss.

“You know, when I move into the apartment with Kuuro, you can come over any time. We don’t have to worry about parents or siblings or anything.” He sounded excited. Really, Akaashi was looking forward to this, if he were being honest. But the thought of his boyfriend moving in with another guy just didn’t sit quite right, especially because it was Kuuro. It wasn’t like Akaashi thought that Bokuto would cheat, or that Kuuro would cheat on Kenma, but Kuuro and Bokuto went wild when they were around each other. Would they even survive?

“Yeah, just promise me you won’t burn the place down.” Akaashi teased, for now leaving his worries behind. He wanted Bokuto to be happy.

“Promise.” Bokuto rested his head on Akaashi’s shoulders again. “As long as you promise to visits lots, okay?”

“Okay,” Akaashi agreed. Bokuto started kissing him on the neck, and Akaashi’s willpower was only a few seconds away from shattering when they heard footsteps echo down the hallway. Bokuto jumped about three feet in the air and Akaashi readjusted his clothing. 

“Fuck,” Bokuto whispered. Akaashi steadied his breathing and hoped they didn’t look too suspicious. Yeah, right. They looked way suspicious. 

“Hey, there’s my baby bro!” It was Bokuto’s older brother, Kosuke. He looked between the two as he approached, raising his eyebrows. “Not standing in front of your old classroom crying now, are you?” he stopped in front of them, hands on his hips, “Really, you’re too sentimental. Anyways, who is this? Friend of yours?” It was strange that Akaashi knew of Kosuke, but not the other way around. 

Bokuto rolled his eyes, “Yeah, yeah. I knew you were crying in the audience when I got my diploma, so don’t even try that with me, Kosuke.” He gestured toward Akaashi, “And this is my good friend and kouhai from the volleyball team, Akaashi Keiji.”

“Nice to meet you,” Akaashi said. Kosuke looked a lot different from Bokuto. He was taller with a slimmer build, had short black hair and deep brown eyes. They had the same jawline and the same nose and mouth. Akaashi found them to be the most similar in the way they held themselves- they had the same laid back, yet masculine way of walking and talking. 

“Wait, you’re the Akaashi?!” Kosuke exclaimed, “Holy moly, I feel like I’m meeting a celebrity. Koutarou always talks about you!” Bokuto turned red. 

“I talk about everyone on the team,” he mumbled in an embarrassed confession, “But yes, this is our amazing setter.”

Akaashi found it to be endearing, and more than a little cute. “I’m honored that our lauded ace thinks so highly of me,” he said with a little bit of a challenge in his tone. 

“Hmmph,” Bokuto grumbled, still not looking at Akaashi, obviously embarrassed. 

“Haha, well, I just came because mom is about ready to go. Meaning we probably have a while to go,” he shrugged, “But we have a feast to attend! Some celebrating to do!” he slung his arm around Bokuto’s shoulder. Then, his eyes lit up. “I have an idea! Akaashi, why don’t you join us!”

Both Akaashi and Bokuto froze. They looked at each other, and Akaashii saw horror in Bokuto’s expression, wide eyed and frantic. Akaashi was sure he looked the same. A moment of silence passed before Kosuke added, “I insist! Come on, it’ll be fun! You can meet the entire Bokuto clan! All five siblings and everything!”

Akaashi looked at Bokuto for direction. What the fuck were they supposed to do? There was no way- Akaashi was shocked to see Bokuto nodding his head silently. Okay. “Sure, sounds great. We can have one last supper, senpai.” he hoped Bokuto got the reference. Because they were about to be fucking crucified. 

Kosuke was pleased, “Great! Let’s go find everybody.”

“Wait! Um, I need to go to the clubroom, one last time. Give us ten minutes?” Kosuke shrugged at his brother’s question.

“Fine by me. Like I said, mom’s just being mom. ‘Ready to leave’ could mean anything between finishing a conversation or starting twenty new ones. I’m sure you’ll have time.” he waved goodbye as he walked away.

Akaashi and Bokuto stood petrified in the hall. This was bad. This was really bad. “Oh, fuck.” Akaashi said, monotone. 

Bokuto licked his lips. Put his hands through his hair. Tapped his foot. “Maybe we can do it.” He smiled. Akaashi just stared. “Oh, crap. Fucking hell.”

“Clubroom?” Akaashi offered.

“Clubroom.” Bokuto agreed. They needed privacy.

They swiveled their way through the crowds of people congratulating graduates and found their way through the gym, and outside into the clubroom. Bokuto used his key (Akaashi raised his eyebrows, Bokuto shrugged it off saying he had made a copy, Akaashi shook his head in disappointment, because what kind of volleyball crazed freak does that?) to open the door. They collapsed on the floor once inside. It was cleaner than usual. 

Bokuto actually laid down, sprawled across the floor. Akaashi curled up next to him, placing his head on his boyfriends chest. “We better hurry and think of a plan within the next couple of minutes.”

“I’m sorry about this,” Bokuto apologized. “It’s not like I don’t want them to know about us-”

“Bokuto.” Akaashi stopped him. “My family doesn’t know, either. We’re both on the same page about all this, remember? We agreed.” Bokuto nodded his head in agreement. When they had started seeing each other, they both agreed to keep it under wraps from their families. It wasn’t worth the risk. 

Bokuto had a big family. Five siblings, two parents. He had three older brothers and two younger sisters. His parents both worked full time, and it was a busy household. Between him pursuing a sports scholarship for college as he wasn’t good academically, Bokuto felt it best if his family was left unawares of his sexuality. 

Akaashi just knew his father would blow a gasket if he found out, and his mother would probably cry; they were strict and traditional. 

For nearly the past year and a half, sneaking around had worked. Now, the threat of a huge family dinner threatened to destroy it. Under normal circumstances, Akaashi would like to think that this situation could be dealt with. But he was not exactly having the best day, emotionally. That, and he and Bokuto were not exactly good at hiding the fact they were together. Minus family, of course; but that could be easily avoided. When they were in school or around their friends, they frequently engaged in public displays of affection and the like. Akaashi liked it when Bokuto held his hand, or put his arm around him, or gave him a kiss on the cheek. As a person who hated social situations, Akaashi found comfort in physical interactions with his boyfriend. And Bokuto was just a touchy-feely person by nature. 

Not to mention, what were they supposed to say? What questions were Bokuto’s family going to ask him? The situation in and of itself was awkward enough to be dreaded by a normal couple, whose family was aware that their guest was dating their son. It didn’t help that Akaashi wasn’t particularly good at small talk. He looked to Bokuto. 

“I guess, I’ll just guide the conversation away from you? Or away from us? I mean, my family is pretty loud. It should be easy, right? You’ve had dinner with us before.”

“Not all of you,” Akaashi defended himself, “Just with you and your mom and Kio and Karen.” Akaashi could handle a mom and two seven year olds. But that, a dad, and three older siblings? On the day of graduation, where Bokuto would be the main topic of conversation? No way.

“Well, the main problem here is that I literally cannot hide anything from them, you know.”

“Yeah, it’s not like you’re that difficult to read.” Akaashi teased. “You know, I’m kind of excited.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I get to watch you get picked on by all of your older brothers.” he smiled. “Baby Bokuto.”

“I’m not even the youngest!”

“You’re the youngest boy.”

“Whatever.” he turned on his side, facing Akaashi. “As long as my parents don’t find out, we should be fine. Even if my brothers find out-” he hesitated. Akaashi traced his cheek bones and kissed his nose.

“Even if they don’t understand, at first, I’m sure they’ll still love you.” he tried to comfort him. But really, the words were empty. Aside from meeting Kosuke just now, he had never interacted with Bokuto’s two older brothers, Eiji and Daisuke. 

Bokuto seemed to appreciate it anyways, “Maybe,” he said, Kissing Akaashi. “You know, I’m really going to miss fooling around in here.”

The reality of Bokuto’s departure sank in again. “Me too.” They lay there for a few more minutes before Bokuto’s phone went off. He looked at it and sighed. 

“They left, said to walk home when we’re ready for dinner. I guess it’s time to leave.” Akaashi feared for the worst.


	4. aftermath

Hinata didn’t know what to do with himself. After the party ended at Suga’s place last night, he had ended up going back to Kageyama’s to spend the night, because his house was so far away. They hadn’t done much, just brushed their teeth and got ready for the night before going to bed. 

But that was the thing. See, they had gotten back pretty late. Late enough to the point where when Kageyama had asked him if a futon was alright, Hinata said it was fine if they just shared the bed. Who wanted to get a futon ready? They were both so exhausted they collapsed into bed and didn’t think about it. Kageyama’s bed was a queen, so it wasn’t like it was a big deal.

Hinata was deeply regretting that decision right now. It was morning, and he had awoken to being spooned by Kageyama. His arm was draped around Hinata, holding the shorter boy close to his own body. His face was burrowed in Hinata’s back. It felt too good to be true. Hinata was so embarrassed he thought he would die. He thought of waking Kageyama, but really, he didn’t want him to move. So he stayed still and basked in the other’s warmth for a while longer. Any feelings about this being weird kind of just faded away after a while. It wasn’t like this was his fault, right? He was the one being spooned by Kageyama. Kageyama would just have to deal with it when he woke up. He reached over and held Kageyama’s hand. Just for a while, he would indulge in his touch. 

Over the last year, Hinata had gone through a crazy range of emotions regarding Kageyama. It was push, pull, love, hate, friends, partners, rivals, fighting, joking, on and on; it drove Hinata mad. But he had finally, finally reached a point with himself where he could be honest. He liked Kageyama. For the longest time, Hinata was afraid of what that would mean for them, and for their future. Volleyball was pretty much at the core of everything he and Kageyama were. This was simultaneously wonderful and their ultimate downfall. On one hand, wow, who doesn’t want the one they really like to be apart of the most important facet of who they were? Volleyball was the first priority for both of them. Which brings up the negative aspect: if their relationship didn’t work, how would it effect them on the court?

Hinata had spent a good portion of the year observing his teammates on and off the court. Asahi and Noya, Suga and Daichi were together, and Yamaguchi and Tsukishima had this weird thing where they pretended to not be together even though they obviously were. At the beginning of the year, he saw what self esteem and confidence could do to a relationship through Noya and Asahi. It had been rough for the both of them, but Asahi returned and they never brought a relationship problem on the court again. Suga and Daichi weren’t perfect, either, but they never let their squabbles effect the team. If Kageyama and Hinata did get together, there was no guarantee that that would happen. See, Kageyama and Hinata were more reliant on each other on court than Noya and Asahi or Daichi and Suga. Remembering their fight after the training camp, when Hinata had decided to open his eyes during the quick-attack, Hinata sunk. They had a tumultuous kind of dynamic; it’s just the way they were. Hinata had pretty much learned that Kageyama was just completely sucky at communicating with other human beings, and learned to love it. They still bickered and competed, but Hinata enjoyed that. It was a kind of game they played together that brought them closer together as teammates. 

Off the court, it was a bit different. Hinata had gotten closer to Kageyama after their fight about the quick-attack. He was so frightened that he had ruined their partnership, and as such ruined the volleyball team, that he made it a point to get closer to Kageyama. This is when he started realizing he held more than just platonic emotions for his setter. They got along really well. 

Hinata had never clicked with anyone quite like he did with Kageyama. Bickering, complaining, and competing with one another was still a common occurrence in their non-volleyball encounters, but they were less heated and more playful. Over time, Hinata had figured out that Kageyama just sometimes didn’t get sarcasm or jokes; likewise, Kageyama had gotten used to the way Hinata joked around with him. They had gotten to the point where they would hang out with each other outside of school, especially after difficult practices where biking thirty minutes over the mountain was just not an option for Hinata, even with his insane stamina. Sleepovers and video games were becoming a normal thing between them. 

Spooning, however, was not. While he waited for the other to wake up, he pretended to be asleep and tried to figure out if he was more embarrassed or happy. He gave up after five minutes, feeling a bet guilty, and tugged on Kageyama’s arm. “Wake up,” he said in a half whisper.

“Urgghmmm,” was the response he got, being pulled in closer to Kageyama.

“Kageyama…” he began trying to free himself. 

“Oh,” Kageyama jolted awake and sat up, “Oh shit,” he was blushing. 

Hinata didn’t want to make this an awkward thing, “Yeah, um. Good morning.”

“Sorry, um, about that,” Kageyama scooted away.

“It’s no problem,” Hinata tried to laugh it off. “I guess that happens sometimes? It was sort of cold last night.” It was not and they both knew it, but exhaustion was a liable cause, right? Hinata figured there was no way Kageyama would do something like that consciously, and didn’t want the other to feel bad about it. However, he also didn’t want him to know that it made him extremely happy. 

“Yeah, but still. Sorry.” Hinata was kind of weirded out at how genuine Kageyama sounded right now. It was kind of funny, right? Certainly, it was the kind of situation their senpai would make fun of them for. 

“Pshh, Kageyama, are you still half-asleep?”

“Mnnnn,” 

“Wanna go back to sleep?” He was a morning person, but was willing to help Kageyama’s mother with breakfast while the other slept in. 

“Kind of.”

“Wanna cuddle some more?” 

Kageyama hit him with a pillow. “Go make me breakfast.” at least he was back to normal. Hinata threw the pillow back and went to the bathroom to prepare for the day. 

Once done, he went to the living room to find Kageyama’s mother watching the news. 

“Oh, Hinata! Good morning! I’m sorry, I didn’t even know you were here.” Hinata really, really liked Kageyama’s mother. She was kind and always let Hinata stay over whenever, and insisted that he called her by her first name, Kimi. Hinata figured it was because Kageyama was such a loner in middle school, that she welcomed any friends her anti social son brought home, but he had never pressed the subject. 

“Good morning, Kimi!” he sat down on the armchair, “We got back around one last night.”

“Sounds like quite the party!”

“Yup! We ended up going over to Suga-senpai’s house after the gym. We ate, like, five pizzas. And I cried a whole lot.” He laughed. 

Kimi patted his leg, “It’s always hard to watch you’re friends graduate. I remember when my senpai from the softball team left!” she shook her head, “I was in tears for days. But then I got the regular position for pitcher so it wasn’t all that bad” she winked. “So, where’s my son? Sleeping, still?”

“You know it.” he could feel himself blushing, remembering the spooning incident. “He woke up when I did, but then went back to sleep, so he should be up soon.”

“Hmmm,” there was a bit of motherly suspicion in her eyes, but she didn’t press. Sometimes Hinata wondered what she would think of Kageyama and him being in a relationship (not like that was a thing at this point, but still,) and it terrified him. Hearing stories about his senpai and their parents had given him very little hope. But those were nightmares for later. Hinata was grateful for her discretion; he knew his own mother would ask questions up and down at his awkward response. “Well, then, I guess we’ll just start breakfast without him.”

“Yay! What are we making today?” Hinata had pretty much won over Kimi in the helping-out-around-the-house department. He was used to helping his own mother in the mornings, so it felt weird just sitting around waiting for Kimi to finish. In the beginning, Kimi was completely adamant that Hinata wait like a good, patient guest, but of course Hinata would not have it. He didn’t necessarily have any culinary prowess, but he could manage with the small stuff, and thought cooking was fun.

“It’s the weekend, so how about pancakes and eggs?” score. They went to kitchen and waited for a grumpy setter to awaken. 

When Kageyama arose (it was actually pretty easy to wake him up, you just needed food,) they ate and had a good breakfast together. 

“Party hard last night, Tobio?” Kageyama choked on his coffee and Hinata nearly died laughing. 

“N-not really!” he shot an accusing glance at Hinata, “what lies are you telling my mother,”

“No lies, no lies. Just that we ate too much food and cried a lot.” Hinata dug into his pancakes. 

“As long as that’s it,” Kageyama looked into his coffee mug.

Kimi seemed curious at her son’s reaction, “What, did something else happen?” 

Kageyama didn’t make eye contact, “Not really! It was fun! Crying and eating,” Oh, man, he was still stuck on the spooning thing. Stupid Kageyama!

“Alright,” Now, Kimi seemed truly intrigued by her son’s bizarre behavior, for better or worse. Hinata kicked Kageyama underneath the table and gave him a glare. Kageyama ignored him. They finished their breakfast and Hinata and Kageyama went back to Kageyama’s room. 

“Still want to play Mario cart?” Kageyama asked.

“Do I ever not want to play Mario cart, Kageyama?” Kageyama grinned and they plopped down on the floor. 

“Why’d you have to act so weird at breakfast?” Hinata gently nudged him with his leg, “It’s not like we did anything bad last night.”

Kageyama blushed, again, oh my god why was he blushing so much today, “It’s just, I thought you had told her about this morning,” What? 

“Stupid. That would be embarrassing for me, too.” Hinata tried to be gentle. This spooning incident was effecting Kageyama way more than he thought it would. There was being awkward, but then there was this. Why was he dwelling on it so much? “You don’t have to worry about it.”

Kageyama grumbled under his breath and Hinata couldn’t quite make it out, “What did you say?”

“I said, maybe I-” Kageyama was cut off by the sound of Hinata’s phone ringing. Reluctantly, he answered it. 

“Hello, Tanaka senpai?” It was strange to be receiving a call from him, they had just spoken about, well, everything, last night. 

“Hey, Hinata. I just want to um, tell you what’s up.” He sounded kind of serious, like a grown up breaking bad news to a kid. 

“What’s wrong?” Hinata was worried. 

“Well, last night, you know how Asahi and Yuu didn’t follow us to Suga’s?” 

“Yeah, I thought they were, uh, gonna go do their own thing,” their own couple date thing. Hinata remembered being jealous of them last night. 

“Well, I just wanted to let you know, because Yuu is really upset right now.”

“Senpai, you're really freaking me out,” 

“Asahi broke up with him.” Tanaka had an unfamiliar twinge of genuine anger in his voice, “Last night, after graduation. Suga texted me last night asking me to check up on him, and thank god I did. I found him about a block away from his house having a fucking panic attack in an alley.” 

Hinata was shocked. “What?” He looked at Kageyama, who looked mildly freaked out because he couldn’t hear anything. “Wait a minute, Kageyama is here, I’m putting you on speaker. While he fiddled with his phone he told Kageyama, “Asahi broke up with Noya,” Kageyama’s jaw dropped.

Over the speaker, Tanaka continued, “So, yeah. He was freaking out, couldn’t breath or nothin’. I’ve-I’ve never been so pissed at Asahi before.” 

Kageyama bit his lip and he and Hinata looked at each other helplessly. What was he supposed to say in this situation? “Tanaka-san, why exactly did they break up? I mean, I know Asahi is leaving town, but,” Kageyama tried.

“I don’t really know the details, but I texted Yuu this morning, and he seems a bit better. I was going to go over and talk to him, but uh, I think it would be good if you guys came too. I mean, I’ve never seen him like this, so I don’t really know how to deal with it or anything.”

And he thinks he and Kageyama know what to do? They looked at each other helplessly again. “Yeah, sure, we’ll be there.”

“Cool, I’ll meet you at the park in half an hour or so?”  
“Yeah.” Hinata hung up. Kageyama looked as lost as ever. 

“What the hell just happened?” he asked.

“I think the volleyball team just turned to hell,” was all Hinata could think to reply. 

 

Thirty minutes later, they found themselves waiting in the park with Tanaka. “Suga and Daichi are coming, too,” he told them. 

“Is this really a good idea?” Kageyama asked. “I mean, doesn’t he want to be alone?”

“Kageyama, that’s exactly why we cant let him be alone right now. They were together for two years, dude. Two years.” Tanaka shook his head, “And he missed the party at Suga’s and everything! We need to at least try to cheer him up before we let him properly sulk.” 

“Hey guys!” Suga and Daichi had arrived.

“Morning,” Daichi yawned. 

“Don’t act so sleepy, it’s already eleven!” Suga responded. “So, we talked to Asahi last night.” Tanaka clicked his tongue. Suga lightly tapped him on the shoulder, “Don’t make him out to be the bad guy, Tanaka. He had his reasons, convoluted as they may be.”

“Yeah, sure. You weren’t the one who found Yuu having a panic attack in the alley at midnight.”

 

Daichi butted in, “Well, I think we can all agree that we’re a little ticked off at Asahi right now. But our priority right now is cheering up Noya, so maybe we shouldn’t get into the politics of their brake up right now.”

“Sure,” was Tanaka’s reply. 

Kageyama and Hinata looked kind of lost as they followed their senpai to Noya’s house. “Why did they brake up, though?” Hinata asked. 

“Asahi said he needed more independence, and that keeping up with Noya long-distance wouldn’t work.” Suga explained.

“But isn’t that selfish?” Kageyama, surprisingly, spoke up. Hinata was shocked that there was an underlying tone of anger in his voice. 

“Maybe,” said Daichi, “But do you hate him for it?”

“Of course not. Asahi’s still Asahi, right?” Hinata joined in.

“Yup. Keep that in mind when we’re talking to Yuu. Because right now, he’s going to be either in a rage or in tears, but at the end of the day, he hasn’t gotten over his feelings for Asahi.”

“But what if they get back together? I mean, couples fight all the time, right?” Hinata was desperate to find a solution. For the last year, his senpai had been a pillar of stability on and off the court. They were his role models on the court, and his friends off of it. It was difficult enough to see the previous third years move on, but if Noya and Asahi were on bad terms with each other, would Noya change? He was going to be a third year when school started again. Hinata and Kageyama were going to be second years. If they got together romantically, and then broke up, how would it effect the team? Noya and Asahi were displaying what Hinata had most feared for the team; what he most feared for himself and Kageyama. 

“It’s not that simple, Hinata.” Suga gently consoled him, “For now, lets just worry about Noya, okay? Like Tanaka said, it was two years. If it were me-” Suga stopped and Daichi gave him a look, “Well, he’s going to need somebody to look after him, after we leave.”

Kageyama bumped into Hinata, “Don’t look so sad.” cute. He was just so cute. Would pursuing a romantic relationship with him be worth the risk? Hinata felt that it might be. 

 

 

Noya awoke to the sound of his mother pounding on the door. “Yuu! Your friends have come over!” perfect. As much as he loved them, he was in dire need of some alone time right now. 

“Hey, senpai!” Hinata said in greeting, the fake happiness dripping from his voice. Oh, great. pity. He sighed and rose from his bed. 

“Noooooyaaaa, you didn’t think you could hide from us, did you?” Suga ushered everybody into his room and closed the door. Fucking Christ. Everybody sat on the floor, and Suga went to sit in the bed beside Noya. “Hey.” he said in this soothing voice, really like how a parent would sound. A large part of Noya really appreciated it, because he knew that Suga knew he couldn’t talk to his own parents about it. Thoughts of Asahi clouded his mind.

He teared up, “Shit,” Everybody looked on in silence. “Wait, wait, I don’t want to cry like this.” Noya tried to gather himself. “It’s kind of pathetic, right?”

“No way!” Hinata blurted out, “There’s no way crying about something like that could be pathetic.”

“He’s right, Yuu! Crying is manly. You just lost something important” Tanaka added. Noya remembered how he had practically dragged him home. 

“Thanks for last night, Ryuu. I don’t now what happened, exactly?”  
“You were having a panic attack, Yuu.” Tanaka said in a more serious tone.

Suga put his arm around Noya and rubbed his arm. “Do you want to talk about it? All we know is what Asahi told us.”

“You talked to him?” Noya asked, a little hurt, if he was being honest. 

“He came over last night, after the party. Daichi and I calmed him down.” 

Noya wondered what Asahi had looked like, showing up at Suga’s doorstep close to one in the morning. Was he angry, or crying? He remembered the shouting and the tears. Asahi was overtly emotional by nature, but usually that nature was gentle. “I’ve never really seen him so angry,” Noya practically whimpered, but he no longer had any sense of embarrassment about it. That’s what his friends were here for, right? 

“Angry?” Suga prompted, a tone of confusion in his voice.

“Yeah, angry. We both said some pretty horrible things” he took a deep breath. 

“Do you want to tell us about them? It might make this less stressful.” Daichi said, joining Suga on the bed, on the other side of Noya. Noya knew he was right. 

“I called him pathetic. And an asshole.” guilt swelled in Noya’s chest. “I mean, in was in the heat of the moment, and I still stand by what I said, I think? But, it’s Asahi, you know? I can’t believe I was so childish, after all this time, I thought-” What did he think? He remembered what Asahi had told him, ‘Were all of my problems supposed to vanish because you wanted them to?’ Noya realized that Asahi had a point, “I thought I was the best thing for him,”

“You were good for him,” Daichi said. “You meant the world to him. But you are not to blame if he has other things going on” 

“Obviously I wasn’t, Daichi.” Noya didn’t let any sting behind his words, “If I meant more to him, he would have tried. But he didn’t. I can’t forgive him for that.” Noya teared up again. 

“But he loved you,” Kageyama said with conviction in his voice. Noya was surprised to hear him speak up; he usually didn’t talk about things like this. 

“I know, Kageyama.” Noya smiled at his kouhai, “He just didn’t love me enough.” Kageyama looked baffled at Noya’s response. 

“And you loved him,” he continued, still trying to win an argument he didn’t know he was fighting, “So shouldn’t that be enough?” Noya saw Hinata go wide eyed as he looked at Kageyama, like something just clicked, and dammit, Noya really wanted to agree, if only for their sakes. 

“It should be, right?” he said. Then he teared up again. Crap.

Suga held him as he collected himself, “I think this was a nastier brake up than I had imagined.” 

Noya laughed a little, “Helpful,”

“Hey,” Suga flicked him on the leg, “I’m trying.”

And so they comforted comforted him and Noya was grateful for it. They slowly got off topic about Asahi, and Noya got to enjoy hearing stories of what happened at the party last night. He wished he could’ve gone. 

“It’s alright! We still have time before we leave for university.” Daichi reassured him. Noya couldn’t help but be jealous of him and Suga. They were going to the same university in Tokyo; long-distance had never been considered an option for those two. 

“Yeah, two lovebirds in Tokyo. You gonna get an apartment together or what?” Noya asked, curious. Daichi blushed to his ears and Suga giggled.

“No, we thought it was best if we didn’t do anything like that so fast. Plus, my parent’s really wanted to live on-campus to get used to everything, at least for the first semester.” Suga explained. 

“Yeah, more like there was no way in hell your dad was going to let us live together right off the bat.” Daichi mumbled.

Suga sighed, “How many times do I have to tell you, Daichi? It’s not that he hates you, he just doesn’t like the fact that you haven't told your parents yet. So he thinks you’re a bit fickle, is all.”

“I thought your parents were down with it, though, Suga?” Tanaka asked. They had just been at a party at his house last night, where moderate PDA was going on between Suga and Daichi. 

“Yeah, for the most part!” Suga elaborated, “They’re okay with me being gay. You know, despite some moderate homophobia from ignorance as far as gender roles and stuff go.” Here, he kind of rolled his eyes, “Straight people, right? Sorry, Tanaka.” Tanaka shrugged his shoulders. “So, like, when they see me with Daichi, who is obviously way more traditionally masculine than I am,” blushing and shoving and cutesy couple things went on; now it was time for everybody to roll their eyes at Suga, “They look at us and go, ‘okay our son is the female figure in this relationship.’ And you know, that is not a thing, because we are both boys.”

Hinata looked kind of lost, “So they don't like Daichi?”

Suga nodded, “No way! They love Daichi. Who doesn’t love Daichi?” Noya was kind of sick of viewing this couple-y stuff less than twenty-four hours after a brake up, but it was endearing, in a way, “But Daichi hasn’t told his parents about us yet, so they don’t think he’s completely dedicated to me. Hence, why they were hesitant to let us live together in Tokyo.”

“Why don’t you tell them, captain?” Kageyama asked, curiosity in his voice. It was kind of funny, seeing him and Hinata sitting cross-legged in front of Daichi and Suga, asking all these questions about their relationship. Noya made it his mission to guide them along once his senpai left. Especially now, because the conversation had reached a dangerous topic. 

Daichi took a breath and seemed to be looking for the right words to explain his situation. He put an arm around Suga’s waist and began, “Well, as you might know, my parent’s aren’t together anymore. So, it’s not like, if one disapproves, the other will. Not necessarily.” Noya could see him hesitating. It wasn’t like he blamed him; it was a difficult topic to talk about. “But my dad is your typical traditional, hyper-masculine type. He’s super homophobic, so it’s not like I can exactly tell him about it.”

“Are you sure though, senpai? I mean, he might be willing to listen, because it’s going to change his perspective if his son is gay, right?” Hinata said hopefully. 

Daichi laughed sardonically, “Oh man, is that never going to happen.” Suga looked away, a little guiltily. “I can’t even bring Suga around to his place, anymore.”

“He caught you guys?” Tanaka asked.  
“God, no. This happened, what?” he looked at Suga, “Christmas last year?”

“Yeah.” Suga looked away. “It was just before Christmas, when we slept over at your dad’s place.” 

“Yeah. So, I had had Suga over before. Especially in our first year, Suga and Asahi used to sleep over a lot-” he bit his lip like he just noticed he said something wrong. Noya jolted at the name, but pressed Daichi to continue, “Sorry, Noya. After Suga and I got together, of course I had just him over.” he blushed a bit, as if everybody here wasn’t aware that Daichi and Suga were horny teenagers in love. “My dad’s place worked best, because he always works super late at the office, and Suga hadn’t told his parents about us yet, either.”

“For a while, it worked. We were kind of having fun, sneaking around.” Suga smiled as Daichi recounted the memory, “But on the few occasions Suga and my dad did meet, he got suspicious.”

“Of you being together?” Tanaka asked.

“No,” Daichi nodded his head, “He got this insane idea that Suga was leading me on, trying to hit on me and make me gay or something,” Suga looked away again. This was obviously something that was creating tension in their relationship. Daichi looked at him, “Is it okay if I tell them, or-?”

“It’s okay!” Suga reassured him. “I can tell them, actually, because I think-” He gave Daichi a look

“Oh, yeah, this might-” Daichi had understanding in his voice, discreetly gesturing at the youngsters in front of them.

“That’s what I was thinking, too!” Suga nodded in agreement. After years of knowing them, Noya was still surprised at how easily they communicated with each other. Kageyama and Hinata still looked perplexed on the floor in front of them, and Tanaka just kind of sighed and gave Noya a look. They were going to miss this.Suga continued where Daichi had left off. 

“So, it was Christmas Eve. Kind of a risky day to have a sleepover, but, well, we wanted too. Anyways, we were stupid, and assumed Daichi’s father would be working late that night too. Who works late of Christmas Eve?” He sighed at his previous ignorance, “And we were in the kitchen, decorating cookies. Which I guess is pretty gay,” he giggled. Then, he got kind of quiet; this was not a happy memory. “He came in the from door, and I was standing close to Daichi, touching his arm or something. We were laughing, and I guess it could have been considered an innocent enough scene, but” Suga shrugged, “Over the course of a few months, he had probably gotten suspicious, what with all of the sleepovers and things. Really, I’m just happy that I got the brute of it, and not Daichi.”

“Don’t say that.” Daichi interjected, dead serious.

Suga looked at him and continued, “So he went off. Called me a fag, told him to get away from his son, to get out of his house. The whole deal.” He fidgeted, “It was really frightening. I left and ran home in tears. Really, I didn’t care that he hated me. I was just so scared that I couldn’t see Daichi again.”

Noya linked his arm through Suga’s. “That sucks.”

“Yeah,” Suga replied, “It really did. My parents were not to pleased, either. I ended up telling them that I was seeing Daichi, which may not have been that big of a deal because they already knew I was gay, but they didn’t appreciate the fact that I had hidden it from them. But really, they were upset that Daichi’s father had yelled at me like that. It took some time, but I managed to finally convince them to not confront him about it.” he stopped and looked at Daichi, silently telling him to take over from there. 

He cleared his throat, “So, yeah, I can honestly say that that night was one of the most terrifying experiences of my life. I was sure that Suga would brake up with me, or never want to see me again. I couldn’t blame him if he didn’t want too. Then, there was my dad. After Suga left, he said even worse things to me, like, ‘how could you let that fag in my house,’ and ‘are you stupid, he was obviously leading you on, he was tricking you,” Daichi took a deep breath, “And the worse part is, I let him. I sat there and tried to look as confused as possible, practically agreeing with everything he said.” Noya saw a dark expression cross Hinata’s face.

“Didn’t you try to defend him?” Hinata asked. Was his idealistic image of his senpai being crushed? It reminded him of last night; Noya had learned that reality hit hard.

 

“Honestly, I was more concerned with hiding our relationship. I knew that if I wanted to stay with Suga, I had to pretend to agree with my father. It wasn’t honest and it wasn’t brave, but it was what I had to do.”

“It’s what you still do, Daichi.” Suga gently butted in. “You see, Hinata, in the types of situations, you have to compromise who you really are in order to live the type of life you want, and even then you can only do it discreetly.” 

“What about your mother, captain?” Kageyama suddenly asked.

Daichi sighed, “I don’t think she would hate it as much as my dad would. She would probably be more understanding. But she’s the type to always talk about my future and what kind of wife I’ll have and when I plan on getting married and stuff. I know it’s cowardly, but honestly I’ve been putting off telling her because I’m afraid she’ll stop supporting me, financially and everything.” there was regret in his voice.

Hinata bit his lip, “I don’t like that.” Daichi and Suga giggled. 

“Nobody does, silly.” Noya responded. “My parents are pretty much the same way. But, I’m a little more obvious than Daichi is, I think.”

“You sucked at hiding you and Asahi,” Suga said wistfully. “You were always tugging him along and kissing him.”

The thought made Noya nauseous, “He was the one who kept all that in check. You know he hated PDA and everything,” he chewed on the inside of his cheek and tried to control his breathing. He wanted to go on, to talk about how Asahi was always really affectionate and liked cuddling. He wanted to recall the times when they would sneak out of the house at night (Noya’s idea) and go on long walks in the park to make out under the stars, and how Asahi was actually pretty dominant, physically, when they got really into it. But Noya couldn’t bring himself to go on. Suga pulled him in closer and rubbed his arm.

“Hey, it’s alright.” Suga cood. 

“Senpai, you never told your parents, either?” Hinata scooted closer to Noya. 

“No way.” Noya deadpanned. “They’d kick me out, no hesitation.” Hinata’s expression dropped. 

“But your mom and dad are so nice-”

“That doesn’t matter,” Noya broke the news to him. “Just because someone is nice, doesn't mean they’re willing to change the way they think.” maybe that was too harsh. “But you know, Hinata, it’s not the end of the world, even if they don’t support me. I have one year of high school left, and,” Noya kind of trailed off. 

Suga picked up where he left off, seeing where he was going with this, “Yeah! I think what Noya is trying to say, is, don’t be discouraged, just because you’re parents might not accept you in that moment. Certainly, don’t let them know if you’re reliant on them. But, once you become independent, and you’re in a place where you want to, why not? In the mean time, it’s worth, um, being yourself without them being non the wiser, because protecting yourself from judgment and possible ostracism isn’t quite lying, I don’t think…”

Hinata blushed and kind of jumped, “Wait! It’s not like I was saying anything about!-” Tanaka saved him by kicking him in the side, pushing him to the floor. 

“Nobody was saying anything, stupid. It’s just general advice. Kageyama was practically a tomato at this point. Tanaka gave a wink in the direction of Noya and his senpai. Cool as a cucumber, saving kouhai’s awkward attempts at hiding their sexualities. One at a time, Tanaka. One at a time. 

Things got more upbeat after that. They talked and rough housed for a while longer, still keeping in mind that they were there for Yuu. Noya appreciated it from the bottom of his heart. When it was time for the to leave, he waved goodbye and thought that loosing Asahi might not be the end of the world, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this chapter ages ago and forgot that it turned into this long thing about coming out,,,, wow projecting much 19 y/o me??


	5. a mistake

Yaku had always secretly really liked how his teammates considered him the ‘mom’ friend. Of course, he would never let them know this. How embarrassing would that be? Instead, he just tried to live up to the title as much as possible. Liberos were supposed to be a pillar of support for their team, anyways. So so acted the part; he was responsible, cheered them up when they were down, lectured them when they were slacking, made sure they were on track, tied their shoes, et cetera. Really, it wasn’t like it was difficult, the Nekoma team was made up of a bunch of babies. For nearly three years, he liked to think he made a good parent-esque figure for them. Nearly. 

Everything was going fine until Haiba Lev fucked it all up. It was alright in the beginning; Lev was the biggest baby of all. Yaku could yell at him and practice with him just like he did with the rest of his team, especially his kouhai. But Lev wouldn’t have that. Somehow, he weaseled his way into Yaku’s life to the point where Yaku couldn’t ignore what Lev wanted, and what he had wanted as well.

It started only a few months into the school year. “So, I heard you broke up with that guy from the basketball team!” Yaku shot straight up from where he was on the court tying his shoe. The gym was empty except for him and Lev; he had stayed behind to help him practice serves. 

“How’d you hear about that?” he sighed. It wasn’t like him being gay was a huge secret, but he didn’t go around advertising it. He especially didn’t go around telling people about his relationships, if you could call them that. He had realized a while ago that if he wanted volleyball to take the first priority, he couldn’t concentrate on romance. Which is why he almost never got romantically involved with the guys he hooked up with. This last guy didn’t get the memo, so Yaku got uninvolved as fast as possible. 

“Captain was talking to you about it in the clubroom! I overheard!” Lev sounded pleased with the fact that he had been eavesdropping. Yaku decided to lecture him about it later. “Why’d you do it?”

For some reason or another, Yaku decided to talk to Lev about it. Leaving the topic alone would probably be weird, and he didn’t want any tension on the team. Plus, Lev had been less annoying today than usual. “He wanted to get romantically involved, and I didn’t.”

“So he wasn’t really your boyfriend?” was Yaku imagining it, or did Lev sound pleased?

“No, we just…you know.” Yaku immediately regretted saying it, that was probably too much information.

“Oh.” Lev blushed. “Senpai, do you, um, like tall guys?” he looked away. “Since this guy was on the basketball team and all”

What. The. Fuck. The guy actually was tall, 6’3”, so Yaku got the idea that Lev had done more snooping then previously mentioned. He rolled his eyes, “You don’t have to worry, stupid. I’m not gonna throw myself at you just cuz you’re tall.” He felt a little hurt that Lev would think of him like that, though.

“No! That’s not it!” Lev walked towards Yaku with an eager expression in his eyes, “It’s just, I was really happy when I found out that you and that guy were over!” Oh boy, Yaku prayed to all of the gods he knew that what he thought was happening was not happening. “For the longest time, I’ve been really interested in you,” Lev’s tone dropped a bit and he stood straight up, blush across his cheeks, “You know, like that. I like you, senpai.”

Fuck. Yaku found it hard to breath and this entire situation was so awkward he didn’t know what to do. “Lev.” he said, sighing. “Oh, boy.” He put a hand through his hair and he felt so fidgety he thought he would die. How was he supposed to turn this kid down. He took a seat on the bench. “Let’s talk. Sit down.”

Lev sat on the floor in front of him. Like a puppy. Shit. “Sure, senpai. It’s not like I expect you to like me back right away! I thought, we could maybe go on dates and-” Yaku cut him off. 

“Lev.” he made his tone as serious as possible. The last thing he wanted to do was belittle Lev’s emotions. “I don’t do dating, or boyfriends, at all.”

Lev had an open look of disappointment on his face, “Why not?”

“Volleyball.” Yaku said without hesitation. “Think about what a relationship could do to your concentration.” Lev opened his mouth, but Yaku already knew what he was going to say, “Kuroo and Kenma are an exception. You couldn’t say Kenma is dedicated to volleyball, right? They’ve also known each other for most of their lives, so.”

“But senpai, we could try!” Lev scooted closer and Yaku felt something swell in his chest. He looked at Lev’s light hair and his delicate features, his long limbs that were steadily building up muscle. He had broad shoulders and even when he was sitting down in front of his, Yaku could make out the difference in their height, their sizes. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t attractive. But did he want to pursue this? 

“You said you don’t do relationships. I can work with that!” Lev sounded confident. He always sounded confident when he had no clue what he was saying. Yaku blushed. 

“I don’t think you understood what you said, just now.”

“I do, senpai,” Lev got up on his knees and put his hands on Yaku’s thighs. Yaku grabbed his hands, too stop them; they were cool to the touch and his fingers were thin and long. Where the heck did this guy get his confidence from?

“We need to talk about it, first.” Yaku didn’t know what the hell he was doing. No, that would be a lie. He was leading this kid on. But he wasn’t a kid, really. He remembered being in similar situations when he was a first year. “We need to set some rules. But, um. lets get of of here, first.” 

“Sure!” Lev popped up. “I’ll put the ball cart away!” So, they cleaned up the gym and went back to the clubroom to shower and change. Fort he most part, it was silent, which was weird, because Lev was almost never quiet. 

“Are you alright?” Yaku asked as he was tying his shoes, “Have you changed your mind?”

“No! Lev hastily replied, “It’s not that! I just can’t believe this is actually happening.” He sounded pleased as punch. Yaku sighed. 

“Let’s go.” They left the clubroom and Yaku locked the door. As they walked to his house, Yaku started talking, “Alright. So. Lev, no offense, but I really don’t think you understand what I meant when I said I don’t do relationships.” the reality of the situation was sinking in and Yaku wasn’t as frazzled as he was in the gym. 

“I do!”

Yaku raised his eyebrows, “Oh really? Explain.”

Lev blushed. “You only do, um, physical stuff.” that was correct. 

“So you get it. This isn’t a trial run for dating; I do not want to be your boyfriend.” Yaku made sure his voice was firm. “Both of us need to concentrate on the team. Being together would hinder that. Do you agree?”

Lev took a deep breath and bit his lip. Yaku was thankful that he was thinking about it seriously. “I think that I can come to understand it,”

Yaku looked up at Lev, “Why do you want to do this?” He was pretty certain but he just wanted to make sure he and Lev were on the same page. 

His eyes lit up, “I told you! I like you senpai, you’re really cute!” Embarrassing. He nudged Lev as punishment. But at least Yaku’s thoughts had been right; Lev was probably only seeking something physical, as well. He was a sexually frustrated teenager and had pinned his desires on Yaku. 

“We’re here.” they had reached Yaku’s house. “My parents aren’t home.” They both worked the late shift at the hospital. This came in handy for many notorious things. Lev and he went to Yaku’s room, and he closed the door and flipped on the lights. “You want anything?” he took off his blazer and hung it up. 

Lev blushed and fidgeted. “I’m alright,” Yaku rolled his eyes. 

“I’m not gonna jump you, Lev. Calm down.” He went and sit down next to him on the floor. “How long have you known?” This was inevitably going to be the main focus of his next line of questioning. He wanted to get a better picture of how Lev was coming into this; did he know he was gay and wanted to act on it, or was this entire ordeal something of a sexual experiment? Yaku would be fine with either, but he didn’t want any awkward tension is Lev didn’t end up liking it as much as he had planned. 

Lev looked a bit perplexed. “Know what?” oh jeez. 

“That you like guys.” Yaku explained. 

“Oh, um,” Lev concentrated, former confusion out of his expression. “It’s more like, I don’t remember a time where I didn’t like guys?” he attempted to explain, “But I like girls and everybody else too! Gender doesn’t really matter to me. I mean, if someone’s attractive, they’re attractive, regardless of their gender, right? I guess I consider myself pansexual” Sounded to Yaku like Lev had a decent grasp on what he wanted. 

“Wow, okay. Maybe I haven’t been giving you enough credit.”

“What do you mean?” Lev asked. 

“I’ve been going with this under the guise that you were just, um, using me as a way to figure things out? No offense, but you’re not really the type that’s self-aware.” Yaku found this to be true on the volleyball court (ace? really?), so seeing Lev being actually self-aware was a bit of a surprise.

“This is what happens if you think of everybody on the team as somebody you need to take care of, senpai.” Lev scooted closer. “Really, you don’t have to worry about me. I know what’s happening. I mean, I’ve never-” he blushed and looked away. “Gone all the way or anything, but like, I’ve kissed before,” he pleaded his case. Yaku was dumbfounded. Maybe he was the one who lacked self awareness. Lev was attractive and a friend from the volleyball team. He thought Yaku was attractive and they agreed that volleyball took first priority; he wanted what Yaku wanted. 

Yaku thought that was kind of cute. “We’re not having sex.” he reached out and grabbed Lev’s hand. 

Lev was shocked, “Ehh? What?”

Yaku rolled his eyes, This kid, “Not yet, silly.” he repositioned himself so that he was straddling Lev. The guy was tall, so like even like this, Yaku’s nose was only at about Lev’s forehead. “For now,” he trailed off as he touched Lev; he felt his arms and shoulders and rand his fingers through silver locks of hair. 

Lev closed his eyes and put his hands on Yaku’s back, running them up and down. Yaku leaned down and kissed him. It was chase and sweet; Lev responded by wrapping his arms around Yaku and pulling him closer. He prompted Lev to open his mouth and their kiss deepened. Heat swelled in Yaku and he could feel himself becoming woozy with pleasure. How long did they stay like that? It ended and Yaku left a trail of kisses on his cheeks and neck. 

Lev buried his head on Yaku’s shoulders. “Senpai,” he whispered. His voice was delicate and the sound of it made Yaku’s heart swell. It was a warning sign.

 

 

Months later, Yaku realized that he should have listened to that warning. It was a day before graduation, and he was talking to Kuuro in the clubroom; they were soaking in nostalgia one last time before the end of their high school careers. “I have no pity for you,” Kuuro said, sitting on the bench and looking at Yaku with scorn. “Absolutely none.”

“Ugghh,” Yaku moaned. “It’s just, I wasn’t expecting that I would end up liking him,”

Kuuro rolled his eyes, “How can you not become at least a little emotionally attached to someone you’ve been having sex with for over half a year? Someone you see almost everyday and play your favorite sport with everyday?” His voice became softer, “Come on, man, you didn’t think this was going to end well, did you? What were you thinking”

Yaku knew he looked guilty, “I was thinking, hey, look at this really cute guy that’s totally down with just being physical,”

“So you weren’t thinking,” Yaku’s sense of guilt continued to grow. “But he said he liked you, in the beginning, right? Things were bound to go sour.”

“It’s Lev, though. He’s a bit fickle in the emotion department, you know. At that point, there was no way we were close enough for him to actually like me. He might not have been consciously aware of if, but was just looking for something physical too, Kuuro.”

“But that changed, for you.”

“Yeah.” he put his head in his hands and mumbled, “I just love him so much,” tears were close. “What the hell am I going to do?”

Kuuro go up and sat next to Yaku, putting an arm around him, “What do you want to do?”

“Be with him. But that’s not possible, is it?” 

“Who knows? The university really isn’t that far away. You won’t see him everyday, but it’s possible.” Kuuro and Yaku were both attending university in Tokyo, so they weren’t even leaving the city. But they would be busy, and so would their kouhai.

“How are you and Kenma going to do it?”

“We’re going to manage. Kenma said he would work on his communication skills.” an almost amused grin flashed across his face, “We’ll se how that goes, though. But don’t worry about Kenma and me, man. You need to decide what to do about Lev. Have you told him?”

“God, no.” He leaned into his friends arm. “I don’t think he feels the same.” He bit his lip.

“How do you know that?” Kuuro asked in a soothing voice, “You guys are really close. It’s hard to imagine he doesn’t feel anything, after everything you guys have been through.” Kurt got a little more stern, “Even though you knew I never supported your illicit relationship from the start. 

Yaku gave a bitter smile, “I think it might have been worth it.”

Kuuro raised his eyebrows, “Really?”

“After a while, he got really good.” Yaku giggled as Kuroo playfully shoved him away.

“God, do I really want to know?” Kuuro laughed.

“You do. You really, really do.” he winked. “But see, Kuuro, this is why I don’t do boyfriends! Look at this mess.” Yaku thought about Lev, about the way he would curl into Yaku’s chest when he spent the night, as if that position didn’t mean his legs were dangling off the end of the bed. Yaku would miss kissing his forehead and weaving his fingers through his silver locks as he fell asleep. He would miss spending about ten minutes every morning trying to get the lump out of bed; the way his hair would be all out of place and the dazed expression on his face as he rose from a deep sleep. Yaku though about what university life would demand of him, and what volleyball would demand of Lev. 

“It has to end, right?” Yaku saw Kuuro bite his lip, thinking. Yaku could see him searching for a way to agree without sounding too negative. Yaku put his hand on his friends thigh, “Thank you.”

“Ugh, it’s just. I think you would be good for each other. But not now.” Kuuro replied. “And, even if it’s not Lev, I think you should try boyfriends. Maybe,” He hesitated, “try to get over him.”

Kuuro had been Yaku’s friend all through high school. Despite his borderline mischievous appearance, Kuuro was the nicest and most honest guy Yaku knew. If anyone had his best interests in mind, it was him. “Yeah,” Yaku agreed. “I’ll try.”


	6. the last supper

Akaashi had been over to Bokuto’s house many times, but it had never been quite as lively as it was now. First off, he was not expecting Bokuto’s three older brothers, who were adults, to be even more rambunctious than Bokuto himself. When they walked in the door, Akaashi and Bokuto found them tossing Kio and Karen, the two young twins, around in a circle, as if they were playing catch with two living human beings.

“Oh, hey! There’s the man of the hour!” the one that spoke looked more like Bokuto than Kosuke did; he had a wider frame and more muscle; his black hair was longer and looked like Bokuto’s did when it wasn’t styled. 

“Eiji!” Bokuto walked over to greet his brother. “This is my friend from the volleyball team, Akaashi.”

“Hey there!” Eiji waved. “Nice to have you join us this evening.”

“Thank you for having me,”

“Akaashi! Akaashi!” Karen bounded over, “Hello! Are you eating with us?” Akaashi had visited the Bokuto household enough to have made pretty decent friends with Karen and Kio; he was fairly good at handling children. 

Akaashi leaned over to make eye contact with the little girl, “I am. Are you helping your mother cook, this evening?” Karen had made a hobby out of cooking. 

“No!” she said indignantly, “Eiji, Daisuke and Kosuke keep insisting that Kio and I play with them.” she sighed. 

“Sounds troublesome,” Akaashi nodded in agreement. 

Kio joined her sister from the confines of Eiji’s arms, being held by her feet, “They’re a bunch of bullies is what!” her face was red. Eiji swung her around in protest. 

“It’s nice to meet you, Akaashi,” an older looking version of Kosuke introduced himself, “I’m Daisuke. I’ve heard about you from Koutarou. Setter, right?” he had a nice smile and big arms. Really, all of Bokuto’s brothers were really attractive. He would have to tease him about it later. 

“Yes. Do you play?” All of the Bokuto family looked athletic. 

“Yup, taught Koutarou myself.” He said proudly, puffing his chest out. 

“Hey, I helped too!” Kosuke interjected.

Bokuto’s eyebrows furrowed, “Taught me? All you guys had me do was pick up the balls for you!”

Eiji laughed, “But you were so good at it! I remember when you were really little, we would just throw it and you would fetch it for us, like a puppy!”

Akaashi smiled at the mental image. Bokuto pouted. It was easy to see how he became such a big baby. 

“Hello hello hello!” A deep, booming voice came from the hallway. “Why’s everybody standing in the doorway, dinner’s almost ready, help set the table!” that must have been Bokuto’s father. A shot of nervousness shot up Akaashi’s spine. He had never met him before. 

As everyone filed into the dining room, Bokuto held Akaashi back. “We can put our stuff in my room, first.” he lowered his voice, “Catch our breath, a bit.” He could probably sense that Akaashi was internally freaking out.

They hurried up the stairs into Bokuto’s room. “Alright. Here’s the game plan: chill. Just chill.”

“How were you our ace and captain this entire time.”

“Hey, you gotta better idea?”

Akaashi didn’t. “Hey, what do I call you?”

Bokuto raised his eyebrows, “What do you mean?”

“I mean, shouldn’t I call you Koutarou?” Akaashi blushed, “Since there are like seven other Bokuto’s here.”

A grin spread across Bokuto’s face “Oh ho ho?” he put his hands on Akaashi’s waist, “Ho ho ho? What now? What did you call me?”

“Don’t be so happy, stupid,” Akaashi grinned a bit, “And no PDA, when we get downstairs.”

“We’re not downstairs now,” Bokuto pulled him in closer and they kissed. Really, it probably wasn’t the best idea, but Akaashi wanted to take in as much Bokuto as possible before he moved. He would miss getting kisses like this. 

“Guys, dinner is ready!” a voice called from downstairs. Reluctantly, they parted. 

“We can do this,” Bokuto smiled confidently. Akaashi hoped he was right. 

 

At the dinner table, Akaashi sat in between Bokuto and Kosuke. The table was round, and full of food. As the various entrees and sides were passed around, there was no lack of conversation. 

“So, Akaashi. It’s nice to finally meet you! To think, the one time we see each other is at Koutarou’s graduation!” Bokuto’s father had a booming, energetic voice. He was almost always away for work, hence their first meeting being today.  
“Yes,” Akaashi was really bad at this type of thing. How was he supposed to respond to that? But, he did have a desire to leave a good impression on Bokuto’s family. “We always seemed to miss each other.” he smiled. 

“So, how’s the team gonna be, now that he’s gone?” He asked, obviously more than a little proud that his son had been the star of the team.

“Honestly, I think we’re going to have a lot to make up for.” He looked at Bokuto next to him, who looked kind of amused at the conversation happening in front of him, “Koutarou really was an asset to the team.” Bokuto blushed and nearly choked on his beverage. Akaashi fought the urge to shake his head in disappointment. Way to go, that doesn’t look suspicious at all!

“Dad! I’ve told you before, but Akaashi is a a really good setter! Even without me, they should be fine!” Akaashi couldn’t decide if Bokuto was humbling himself or not. “And, he was chosen to be the captain next year!” 

Everybody who had been listening to the conversation ooed and awed. “Congratulations!” Kosuke said. 

“Thank you,” Akaashi replied, kind of embarrassed. They were there to celebrate Bokuto, after all. 

Volleyball was a safe enough to talk about, but of course the topic of conversation was bound to change. 

“So, Daisuke. When are we going to meet this fiancé of yours?” Bokuto’s mom pressed, raising her eyebrows as she took a sip from her drink.

“Come on, mom,” Daisuke rolled his eyes, “I told you, I guess I could bring her around for Christmas or something.”

“But when are we going to get our wedding invitations, hmm?” she gave a teasing smile, “When are you going to give me some grandchildren?” 

Daisuke nearly choked on his drink, “Oh, my god.” everybody laughed, Akaashi giggled politely and looked over at Bokuto, who was smiling awkwardly and looked like he was about to die. From underneath the table, making sure to not look at him, Akaashi reached out and rested his hand against Bokuto’s thigh for mental support. He gave it a quick squeeze before retracting it. 

“Might as well make the rounds,” Bokuto’s mom continued, “Eiji? Girlfriend?” 

“No, ma.” Eiji blushed, “I have someone I’m interested in, though.” 

“Hmmm,” she amusedly hummed, “Pass.”

She continued down the line, “Kosuke.” Holy shit, she really was making the rounds. Akaashi figured the interest stemmed from the age of her sons and the fact that they were never home, but still. He realized how lucky he was that his parents weren’t quite as involved as Bokuto’s.

Kosuke jolted in his seat, “Well, I do have my eye on one of the T.A’s in my math class,”

“Does she know you exist?” Eiji asked jokingly.

Kosuke puffed his chest out, “She will.”

Bokuto’s mom laughed and shook her head, “Alright, alright. Good enough.” she took a sip of her wine. “Now, for the man of the hour.” Fuck. 

“Koutarou.” She cooed, “Who’s the lucky girl?” she waggled her eyebrows. Akaashi remained calm and silently wished his boyfriend good luck. 

“Same old, same old! No girlfriend.” It wasn’t a lie.He was surprisingly calm, and even said it as he casually took a bite of his dinner. Some eye contact, not too much. It was fluid and Akaashi wanted to give him an Oscar. 

“Hmm, but you know, you’ve been acting pretty suspicious, lately.” his mom leaned in closer, “coming home late, or staying out all night, even on the days when you don’t have practice.” the boys at the table wolf whistled and made a ruckus, encouraging their mother as she called him out. 

“Ugh, you know I was having a hard time studying for finals,” Bokuto took another bite and talked around his words, “I was out with classmates.” another not-lie. Akaashi knew that Bokuto hated deception, so this must’ve been the compromise he had come to. 

“Hmmm, well it is a miracle you passed!” his mom moved on. “So, Akaashi,” her eyebrows raised. Bokuto’s hand stilled for a fraction of a second. If the Bokuto siblings got their likeness from their father, they got their personalities from Bokuto Yui. She just didn’t hold back. He also knew that, by know, she was dying for new information. 

“Come on mom, he’s a guest!” Daisuke interjected. 

In a fraction of a second, Akaashi made the decision to follow in Bokuto’s stead.“I have someone I like.” This earned him a few oohs and ahhs from around the table, Bokuto’s eyes only widening in surprise. 

Yui smiled, “Finally! See, boys? Sharing isn’t difficult.” she winked at Akaashi.

“So, who is she?” Kosuke asked, obviously entertained by the gossip. 

Akaashi didn’t hesitate “They graduated today,” and for a moment, it hit him hard. The fact that he liked this family, liked Bokuto, and that he wanted to spend more time with these people. Bokuto was going to college across the city, and he wouldn’t be able to see him everyday. This was definitely the wrong time for him to be getting emotional, but he couldn’t help it, and he knew it showed on his face. 

The table was silent for a moment, “That sucks,” Eiji said. Daisuke nodded in agreement, but Kosuke gave him a suspicious look. Akaashi had almost forgotten the incident in the hallway, and how that might have looked to him. 

“But it’s okay, I need to prioritize volleyball, anyways.” The older brothers chuckled and Yui just sighed.

“Oh, Akaashi. Here I was thinking you were different from these sports idiots,” she seemed to slump over in defeat. “Karen, Kio, I’d ask you but as you can clearly see, boys aren’t worth the trouble, are they?” Karen looked confused and Kio just rolled her eyes. 

 

The rest of dinner went well, and when Bokuto lead Akaashi to his room to get his things, he closed the door behind him. “Sorry about that,”

“No, I enjoyed it. Your family is a pretty fun bunch.” Akaashi tried to smile. “If anything, I should be apologizing to you. Your mom caught me off guard.”

Bokuto’s breath hitched, “Is that what you really think?” He was looking at the ground.

“About what?” Akaashi said, slowly reaching for his hand.

“That you should be prioritizing volleyball.” Bokuto’s voice was vulnerable and Akaashi’s hand stilled. 

“No.” he let out a breath. This conversation was slowly becoming the one’s they had had over the past few months. The one’s that devolved into squabbling and Bokuto’s mood swings. Panic swelled in his chest, “No, no. I didn’t know what else to say.” his heart was beating in his chest “I thought they would catch on after I said that the person I like had graduated.” Akaashi’s hands were on Bokuto’s arms now, “I love you, and I know this is going to be difficult, but we’ll make it work”

Bokuto grabbed Akaashi’s waist, pulling him in and resting his head on his shoulder. “Sorry about that. Didn’t mean to make you all anxious.” He sounded tired. 

“It’s okay,” Akaashi replied, peppering kisses on his neck. This is what he had been afraid of. That one small step out of line, one missed phone call or text, would snowball into Bokuto tormenting himself into depression. Bokuto was just that hard on himself. Akaashi knew that Bokuto wanted what was best for him. From day one, he had treated Akaashi like the light of his world.

“You’re a really good boyfriend.” Akaashi whispered, “I won’t let distance or volleyball take you away from me.” and then he felt that loss again, tears now falling after a day of holding them in. 

“I love you,” was his reply, and for a second Akaashi let himself ignore all of the words that weren’t there; the promises of dates and phone calls and all of the dedication to making a long distance relationship work. He knew that Bokuto would be busy, that he would have to adjust to college work, a new team and a new living situation. He believed in Bokuto’s dedication, but at the end of the day, he didn’t know if his own feelings would be enough. 

Akaashi was a quiet person. He internalized everything, and he knew that during their time as a couple, he had relied too heavily upon Bokuto’s social nature, the same way Bokuto had relied on him for emotional stability. 

He let Bokuto wipe his tears away and gave him one last kiss before leaving. As he walked home, he wondered just how hard it would be to hold this relationship together.


End file.
